


I do. I do! I DO!

by SuperFluffyWolf



Category: Sanders Sides, Thomas Sanders, Thomas Sanders (Video Blogging RPF) - Fandom, Video Blogging RPF, Vlogging rpf, youtube - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Anxiety Attacks, Background Poly, I'm Sorry, M/M, Multi, Not Beta Read, Not What It Looks Like, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Poly-Logan, Poly-Patton, Rating May Change, Sorry Not Sorry, Swearing, Tags May Change, What Have I Done, plot without porn, possible polyam sanders - freeform, title may change
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-03
Updated: 2018-02-06
Packaged: 2019-02-27 14:58:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,574
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13250640
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SuperFluffyWolf/pseuds/SuperFluffyWolf
Summary: Virgil had done his best to be a good boyfriend to the prince, but why was the other refusing to talk to him?





	1. Why...?

**Author's Note:**

> What better way to start the new year with angst and an actual schedule to my writing for the whole year.
> 
> I will post something every Tuesday, or at least I will try. Maybe you'll get lucky and I will post more than once but, looking at my track record ehhhhh... Don't count your chickens before they hatch.

Virgil woke with a groan; the night had been rough, his dreams full of torment and his only solace was during the waking day, where Roman was. He made no attempt to sit up, simply allowing himself to enjoy the strong arms wrapped around him.

Roman was the perfect boyfriend for him; opposite in almost every way aside from their feelings. Feelings were what connected them and always would. They knew each other inside and out and even through his anxious thoughts telling him never to trust the man, Virgil couldn’t help but throw caution to the wind for Roman.

Virgil let a small, but happy, smirk pull at his lips. He truly loved the other more than he could ever hope to say. He stared at the ceiling, drawing swirls and battle scenes on Roman’s arm, imagining the prince to be fending off threats to his kingdom singlehandedly. No army, dragon or other mythical being could stand up to him, Virgil knew this more than anything.

But a thought came to him which caused him to falter, his smirk sagging into a light frown, though for the purple and black clad man it was closer to his resting face.

Not many things could make him doubt his boyfriend, yet recently Roman had been away in his kingdom, only coming back to give a tired smile to Virgil, a peck on the forehead or cheek (or the lips, if he was lucky that night) before removing his shirt and flopping in bed and without a word fell asleep.

Had he done something wrong? He didn’t think so, but why would Roman be avoiding him? They’d been dating for two years now and their anniversary came and went without Roman so much as acknowledging it in any way and Virgil was beginning to get anxious about the whole thing.

Roman was acting _strangely_ and Virgil _hated_ it. He wasn’t Roman anymore, back to being Princey, the one whom he knew hated Virgil.

_Maybe it’s because he never actually loved you._

Virgil shook his head, attempting to free himself of the negativity. He’d been doing _so good_ until Roman started acting weird.

 _Think about it, Virgil._ The voice reasoned. _He was a born actor, someone who gets **paid** to lie to hundreds to  thousands of people all the time._

Virgil felt his stomach begin to knot up, his knees raising in order to alleviate the pain it caused. He hadn’t even noticed when his breathing had become quietly labored. He stopped his finger that was tracing designs on his boyfriend to cover his mouth.

 _The first year was great for him; you put out whenever he wanted, and he could swoon you with his strength, courage and confidence. But let’s face it Virgil,_ the voice sneered, overly happy to antagonize their host once more; it’d been too quiet for too long.

_He got bored with you. When was the last time he said I love you? Or truly kissed you?_

Virgil tried to swallow the lump in his throat, tears spilling over the edge as a quiet sob shook the foundation of his faith in Roman.

He _hated_ that the voice was correct; it had been _months_ since Roman had had a conversation with him, two since he’d said, ‘I love you’, a couple of weeks since they made love, a few days since the last time they’d had sex.

Virgil’s breathing had practically stopped, and his vision swam, tears freely falling as he tried to gasp in air, but only making more panic rise as he stumbled out of the bed, tripping and falling harshly from the blanket that had wrapped about his knees.

All the commotion caused Princey to stir and sit up with a small groan. Even in his good days, Roman had never been a very kind soul when rudely awoken, though was understanding of unexpected panic attacks.

This in mind did not help Virgil’s panic, the lack of oxygen forcing darkness to burn at the edges of his sight. He tried to move to the door, his body screaming at him to both stop moving and to move more quickly. Get away, get away, GET AWAY.

Princey flicked on the nearby lamp and blinked, still trying to wake up, despite it being in the middle of the night (or early morning? Roman wasn’t actually sure). “…Virgil?” He called, but upon seeing his boyfriend, panicked and trying to squirm to the door as though his legs and one of his arms had been broken by a murderer that was slowly walking forward, ready to strike but wishing to see the suffering for a small while longer.

The prince flung the bedding off himself and hurried to the panic-ridden man on the floor. He hadn’t seen a panic attack like this since the first few weeks of being together. What struck him the most was that it seemed like Virgil was seeing him as a _predator_ , someone who wanted to _hurt_ the smaller man.

 _Don’t touch me. Don’t touch me!_ It was all Virgil could think as his finger grazed the doorframe before he was being lifted and taken away from the door, his goal being ripped from him. He was _terrified,_ and he couldn’t _breathe_. He had a small hole of vision and before he knew it the sight of the door was replaced with Roman’s face.

He was talking, but _god_ , what was he **_saying_**? Virgil couldn’t hear him over the voice in his head.

_He only wants you to shut up, he doesn’t care. He’s not helping you or your state._

Virgil slammed his eyes shut, unable to calm himself enough to try and concentrate on anything except the _pain_ and the _burning_ in his lungs. Why couldn’t he _breathe_?

His vision was swallowed by darkness, demons taunting his broken heart and shadows licking at his wounded heart with burning poison.

Virgil woke once more in his bed, this time alone and the spot where Roman normally laid was cold, telling the him the taller of the two had left quite some time ago.

He sighed, standing up out of bed and getting dressed; no need to worry Dad and Logan, he at least needed to say hello to them. He was grateful for them, the more Roman had wandered off, the more he was around the other two and their blossoming relationship. He felt bad, but he knew it wasn’t safe for him to be alone with his mind.

In a way, he felt more apart of Patton and Logan’s relationship than his _own_.

He threw his hood up, draping his large headphones around his neck and padded downstairs barefoot, which was rare. Patton and Logan were chatting idly on the couch in the living room, the tv on quietly in the background, nothing more that the fill the rest of the quiet that roamed the house. Logan was the first to notice him and adjusted his glasses.

“Ah, salutations Virgil.” Virgil threw him his normal greeting of a half wave. He was trying not to think about his panic attack that caused him to blackout.

“Roman told us you had a panic attack, you okay kiddo?” Patton asked, concern laced in his face and his voice. Virgil couldn’t lie to him, not when he needed to talk about this. He let out a sigh and sat on the floor in front of the two.

“I’m… Having second thoughts is all…” Now even _Logan_ looked concerned, but Virgil knew they both _knew_ what he was talking about.

“Have either of you seen Princey?” They exchanged looks and looked at Virgil confused.

“He said he was leaving for a few hours and that he’d be back, but I’m surprised he didn’t… tell you?” Logan questioned, pushing his thick-rimmed glasses up the bridge of his nose.

Virgil couldn’t make eye contact, instead choosing to pick at the frayed edges of the hoodie he’d been creative enough to stitch together. The stitching, while awful, added to his aesthetic.

“He never tells me anything anymore. We haven’t even had a conversation in… Months. I’ve tried, but he just… gets frustrated and kind of…” Virgil gestured to the front door with an open palm. “…leaves until it’s time to sleep.”

Virgil could feel their prying eyes, wanting to ask questions, get answers. But he had no answers to give, he didn’t have them. Only Ro-Princey did, and as uncharacteristic it was of him, his lips were sealed tighter than a bank vault.

Patton launched off the couch and hugged Virgil tightly. He couldn’t imagine what the other must be going through. He’d been trying so hard for Roman and the other either didn’t see it or he didn’t care, the latter hurt just to think about.

“Perhaps,” Logan began, quietly and thoughtful. “You should have him sleep in his own room for a while. A few days, to see if he initiates conversation with you, since he will have no other time to visit you.”

Virgil shook his head; he’d tried the ignoring him back. That was what had him naked and underneath the other only a few days prior. The sex was good, but Virgil had a hard time getting off without the other whispering those sweet nothings into his ear, telling him it was okay and that he was doing so good, that he was so brave and _beautiful_.

Virgil frowned, feeling the tears pricking at his eyes. He’d actually begun to believe it at some point, but his doubt was winning once again.

“Patton?” Virgil’s voice wavered, and he swallowed, trying to keep the crying fit away.

The fatherly man rubbed the other’s back, trying to soothe him. The anxious man was harboring a breaking heart and he was doing everything in his power not to be angry at Roman. He would always care for the prince, but this was just… **_cruel_**.

“Yeah, buddy?” He made sure to keep his tone light for the other, knowing Virgil needed it more than his anger at the prince.

Virgil took a breath, trying to steady himself and refrain from crying. “…What did I do wrong? I-I don’t understand… Did I bore him, what is happening? What did I **_do_**?” Virgil clung tightly to the older man, thankful that only a day or two ago he’d clipped his long nails. He could no longer hold back his sobs, his body shaking with the effort.

“Shh, shh… No, you didn’t do anything wrong, Virgil. I don’t know what’s going on, either…” He used his calm and comforting voice, hoping it would soothe the other.

Logan crossed his arms, his brows knitted together in thought. Something wasn’t adding up. Roman’s disappearances, Virgil holding it back from the two of them for _months_ , had a panic attack and now is a sobbing mess on the floor.

It should have been crystal clear, the picture should have been finished, but something didn’t sit with Logan.

“Virgil… I know you’re hurting,” He did sound as though he were emotionally distraught, unsure of his next course of action. Logan tried to stay sympathetic while processing the picture Virgil was painting for them. “But something isn’t adding up in my head. I would like it if you could fill me in.”

Logan only received a small nod and a sniffle, but it was enough for him to continue.

“Roughly three or four days ago, I know you and Roman had an…” He looked at Patton and cleared his throat a little. “Intimate encounter. Please explain how this could happen if he was not speaking to you.” He didn’t disbelieve Virgil, far from it. He fully believed him, but he needed all the facts before he could take his side without any hesitation. Of course, he planned to talk to Roman as well, so he could see both sides. Never a bad idea.

If Virgil’s face wasn’t pink and rubbed red from crying, he’d have been blushing to the tips of his ears. He had a feeling Logan would ask about that, since their rooms were literally right next to one another’s.

“I… It just kind of… happened? I-I don’t know. I welcomed him back home at what? Nine? Something like that and he kind of just pushed me onto the bed.” He paused to sniffle, his sobs calming down a little. Patton had stiffened visibly, and Virgil immediately knew why.

He shook his head, his head aching from crying so soon after a panic attack with no water in between. “No, no, no. Patton, I did want it, he didn’t force me. I thought maybe he would go back to normal if we did that…”

Logan nodded, thinking back to that night as though looking at a file on a computer in the memory banks of his brain. He didn’t _want_ to listen in, but those two were always so _loud_ , but he didn’t recall hearing Roman say anything as he normally did. It was just grunts and moans while Virgil called Roman’s name. It even went on longer that it normally did. He wondered briefly why that was.

As he thought on it, another memory of the opposing pair came up. He wondered if it had anything to do with why Roman had refused to talk to Virgil.

* * *

 

_They were going at it. **Again**. This was the fifth time since Roman had come home late from his kingdom. He’d brought Virgil a bouquet of purple roses and his favorite treat, Logan could not remember what it was however. Patton would know._

_Logan tried to cover his ears by curling his pillow around his ears, growing more and more frustrated. He did not see the appeal in doing this more than once in a single night, yet Virgil and Roman would go at it after Roman’s trips to his kingdom as though they were rabbits._

_Logan was losing his patience very quickly. He would also never admit to anyone (except maybe Patton in private) that Virgil’s noise sounded wonderful and delightfully **sinful**. There was a pause in the rhythm they’d established, and Logan decided to make his presence known to the two of them by pounding on the wall._

_He heard hushed whispers and some snickering before a large slam (presumably from a particularly hard thrust from Roman) caused Virgil to tip over the edge, name on his tongue, only…_

_He’d called for Logan. He’d not meant to, since he was madly in love with Roman and **definitely** did **not** think of Logan in that way. Logan had heard Virgil whispering to Roman._

_(“R-Ro, we need to… o-oh god…” He panted harshly, the night of fun catching up to him. “Quiet or-or…” a brief pause for air and swallowing saliva to keep his mouth and throat wetted. “Or we’ll really… nnnngg… piss off…”_

_Roman smirked; he did not care if they were bothering that nerd; they were having fun and he’d been away from his love for too long. He needed to be quiet? Alright, but then Virgil would need to **scream**. He gave a harsh and deep thrust, knowing just how close Virgil was and how to push him to the limit._

_“L-LOGAN…!”)_

* * *

 

Logan nodded knowingly, but that made him angry. Roman was acting this way because of an accident? And for such a long period of time? Did that halfwit not understand that he would lose Virgil if he acted this way?

Logan brought his hand to his mouth, thinking. _Maybe because of that, he thinks that he’s already lost Virgil? To… me?_ He couldn’t keep the smirk off his face. _Patton and I have spoken that if Virgil was single, we would try to do that polyamory thing. Patton has a lot of love to give and dedicating it to strictly me isn’t exactly fair to him, but he’s kind enough to see that another partner would make me apprehensive unless we **both** trusted him. Virgil seems to fit that bill pretty well._

Logan shook his head. He needed to stop that train of thought. It was downright **dangerous**.

“Roman is a halfwit, Virgil and I think I’ve concocted an idea of why he’s acting the way he is, not that it’s justified in anyway.” Logan stated simply. Virgil looked at him and his violet eyes were bloodshot from crying and a few tears were still finding a way to escape.

He explained it to Virgil who listened and waited to the end to react, his sadness coming back, but there was something else making his face turn red: Rage. Virgil was _pissed_ , and Patton decided it was time for him to back off, looking at Logan who simply nodded and stood, grabbing Patton’s hand and leading him away. Virgil usually shut down in an angry fit, not wanting to hurt anyone but the person whom he was angry with.

They decided to stay close, but definitely didn’t want to be in his war-path.

It wasn’t even five minutes later that Roman came back home, and Virgil was still in the living room. Logan looked at Patton and they gave each other nervous looks.

Things were going to get loud, and fast.


	2. Filthy Pride

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes not knowing all the answers is okay. Sometimes it's better to find them together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know teeeeeeechnically late, but I was super busy today and just got home. I'm really sorry guys.
> 
> Also, big shout out to DevyDoodle ( http://archiveofourown.org/users/Devydoodle/ ) He beta-read this for me and is quite the doll <3

“Look who finally decided to show his pretty boy face,” Virgil’s voice rang out in a sneer from the couch, his legs crossed at the knees and his arms tightly folded to his chest, his knuckles white as he gripped the fabric of his hoodie.

Roman rolled his eyes, no amusement in them. The air was tense around both of them; the oxygen thinned out with anger radiating off of the two making it hard to breathe.

The royal turned to the stairs, determined to move to his room, his realm, where he understood things, a place Virgil would never follow him; there were too many possibilities, too many unknowns and judging from the scars on the Prince’s body, it was not a particularly safe place.

“So that’s it? You’ve got nothing to say? You’re just going to keep running away like a _coward_?” Virgil hissed at the other, not noticing how the prince stopped, his hand clutching the railing tightly.

The darker man stood angrily, his hands thrown down in frustration. “Why the fuck won’t you just fucking… **_talk_** to me!? Maybe…” His voice got quieter, his anger revealing his worry, his doubt and his fears. “Maybe my instincts were right in the beginning.”

Roman spun around to look at his boyfriend, his eyes filled with an emotion that even he wouldn’t have been able to place with how mixed up he’d been recently.

“Is everything a lie? Everything you said, did and felt… Was it, Roman? Tell me and we can stop this game you’re playing with my heart because I… I can’t take it anymore. I used to hate it when you talked to me because all you did was put me down and you hated me. I wanted that to stop because despite how poorly you treated me, I was falling hard for you.” Virgil was on the brink of tears, the salty fluid pooling in his eyes and stinging harshly.

“You care so deeply for others and you are so passionate and gorgeous and why would a perfect guy like you ever want this mess? I’m nothing but problems, but I tried to have hope because you gave me the little bit of courage I had; because I wanted everything about you so… so badly.” A few tears slipped down his cheeks and he was quick to wipe them away.

“God **_damn_** it! Why don’t you say anything!? What do you _want_ from me!?” Virgil’s voice broke as a sob ripped from his throat. He couldn’t keep himself up any longer and sank to his knees. “Why… do you hate me so much?”

Before he knew it, Virgil was being lifted onto the prince’s shoulder, carrying him upstairs without a word. He didn’t even bother fighting it, he just silently let the tears flow, feeling his heart breaking more and more as time in silence passed.

They didn’t take the turn down the hall to Virgil’s little dark cave of a room; so, they were going to Roman’s room, his castle.

“What are you doing? Where are we going?” He knew he wouldn’t get an answer, but he felt the need to ask on the off chance Roman finally wanted to speak to him. “…I’m scared…” He admitted weakly, trying to look around Roman’s side.

Much to Virgil’s surprise, they were in a forest, probably quite a bit away from Roman’s castle, but the realm it exists in for sure.

Roman conjured up a bench and put Virgil on it, taking a few steps away to give the anxious man his space.

“You want to know why I won’t talk to you?” The prince stood proudly, coldly even. “This is why.”

He showed the night where Virgil had spoke to Roman to try to keep them quiet and came to Logan’s name on accident, but something was wrong. The details were muddied, and some were even just plain wrong.

Roman pulled the conjured memory away and watched his boyfriend.

Virgil’s brows were furrowed in confusion and frustration. There was no way this was how Roman had perceived it, right?

“Roman, that’s not what happened.” There was no malice, but sympathy. He knew how hard it was to make things clear and not mix your hurt feelings into things.

Virgil twirled his hand and showed Roman how he remembered it; clear as day and he had to relive his shame once more and looked away. He couldn’t conceal anything if he wanted to fix things with Roman, or at least attempt to.

“I… Don’t know if you believe me or the memory… But I… I’m sorry for that happening; you’re the only thing on my mind when we make love and… It’s been so long since we talked.” Virgil stood once more, his hands mostly hiding in the sleeves of his jacket, the tips of his fingers playing with the hem nervously.

He knew this argument was nowhere near being finished and he hated fighting with the prince; he loved him to death and back and hated causing him pain. He pulled the memory and sat back on the bench with a sigh, bringing his knees up to his chest and wrapping his arms around them as a safety barrier.

“…I don’t know, Virgil.” Roman admitted, sitting next to him, running a hand through his hair before focusing his attention on making a colorful flower garden in front of them.

“I don’t either, Princey. I’m fucking terrified. I hate going into the unknown; I like safety, constants… but,” Virgil swallowed, looking up to the sky. “Around you, I feel just… a little braver, like I might be able to step out of my comfort zone for a bit. Without you… Without you I’m just… Anxiety again… And I’m scared that all that I’ve worked for is for nothing. I can’t… fix a problem that’s both of ours on my own. I need help and you’ve been avoiding me, so I can’t even ask for help.”

The silence dragged on for a long while, hours, minutes, Virgil couldn’t tell in this realm. He was giving up what little hope he’d had left.

“…I’m a fool, Virgil.” Roman broke the silence, causing the darker man to look at him.

Virgil was too nervous to ask what he meant, if he was completely honest.

“I’ve been… so prideful and it’s disgraceful. I knew something was off with my memory, but I was too angry and too hurt to see it. I am… I’m very sorry, Virgil…” He slipped off the bench and grabbed Virgil’s hand, kneeling on the ground in front of Virgil.

“I’ve hurt you in the way I felt I was hurt… and that was wrong of me…” Virgil swallowed, tears welling in his eyes once more.

“I don’t deserve it, nor should I be asking you for it, but…” Roman took a deep breath, held and released. His eyes burned once more with the passion that Virgil had fallen for. “Can you ever forgive me?”

As much as Virgil wanted to nod and cling to the other tightly, he couldn’t help but hesitate. Would Roman do this again in the future? He knew their days of fighting were not going to just end, but he hoped that, if everything worked out, after a couple of years, the fighting would just die out.

“Roman… I…” Virgil wiped his eyes with his free hand and sniffled. “I want to, but I’m scared… What if everything just goes back to… to you ignoring me? I… I can’t handle it. Your silence hurts more than any word you could spit at me.”

Roman shook his head, determined and sure, his pride in the right spot. “Virgil, I swear on the entirety of my kingdom that never again will I be so proud that I will not speak. If we have a problem I will talk with you about them instead of… instead of running away.”

Before Roman could hear an answer, Virgil tackled him to the ground, hands gripping the front of Roman’s clothes. Roman wrapped his arms around his small boyfriend and found himself crying as well.

They laid there for quite some time and despite the lead up to that point, Roman couldn’t be happier. Finally, he could hold his darling little emo once more without that ugly feeling of anger and pride.

Finally they could be together again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed the end! I'm hoping to maybe put together a little two or three parter of what happens next with Logan.


	3. Protected (Alternate Ending)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things didn't go very well with Roman.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is dedicated to Ready1set2die3 and CrankyWhenProvoked! The reason for this unexpected third part is because of their comment on the ending! I had actually intended to write the ending different, but I thought it might be too angsty? I love all the boys equally so it’s hard for me to paint any of them in poor lighting. BUT NOW I KNOW YOU GUYS ARE INTO THAT SORT OF THING. Considering how angst riddled my heart is I’m excited to share it with the Fanders!
> 
> THIS CHAPTER DOES CONTAIN SEX! This might make some of you uncomfortable, so I wanted to warn you before-hand.
> 
> As a side note though, listening to the OST for Final Fantasy 7-10 is inspiring for me. They’re very, very long though. (like 5 hours for each OST)
> 
> This is an alternate ending, going from Chapter 1 and not a continuation of the previous chapter!!

They were arguing, loudly and for a long period of time. Patton could swear he saw the windows shake as he curled up on his bed with Logan, even though the arguing couple was in the living room. He wanted so badly to help, but Logan had convinced him it was a bad idea. It was not their fight, after all.

It had been a long time since anything had blown up like this between the two, especially since they had begun dating. Logan gently pet Patton’s hair, comforting him amidst the noises, trying not to flinch himself.

 “If you would just _listen_!”

“I don’t want to hear it, Virgil!”

“Oh, because you’ve been listening to me for the past few months, right!?”

“Maybe I would if you would stop complaining all the time!”

“I’m trying to fix things, Roman! It’s more than what _you’re_ doing!”

“Oh, some **hero** _you_ are, Virgil! You only care about yourself!”

“ ** _Me_**!? Look at you! You have your head so far up your own ass, you’re in a paradoxical loop!”

Logan couldn’t help himself but snicker and snort a little. He truly enjoyed when Virgil let his intelligence show, but the angry swat he got to his arm told him it was not the time to laugh.

“Sorry, Pat.” He whispered, keeping his voice low to counter the loud voices from the living room.

“Just admit it!” Roman bellowed, rage filling his voice as his fists clenched harshly at his sides.

“What’s there to admit, Roman!? That you’re so **proud** that you couldn’t ever think that maybe you were _wrong_!? Cause if so, then yes! I admit it!”

“You want to fuck Logan!”

The house fell silent. Seconds passed and it seemed as though no one was even breathing. Patton gripped the front of Logan’s polo tightly. He was terrified and hoped it would resolve itself.

Virgil shook in anger, standing, unable to deny the accusation as his chest began to rise and fall in rapid succession. He was furious, but was beginning to panic; he couldn’t let this go on.

“You’re so insecure…” Virgil managed out, his nails biting into the flesh of his palms. “I can’t…” The darker man stumbled back a little, planting his rear on the couch and leaning his elbows down on his knees, his head in his hands.

“Roman I can’t fucking do this anymore. I thought we were done fighting, but if all our relationship is going to be is fighting… I don’t want it.”

There was only a moment of quiet before a small huff was heard, indignation in its sound. Virgil didn’t even notice the movement of cloth, and the sound of footsteps which gradually got quiet before fading away.

Virgil could hardly breathe; it’s all he could concentrate on so when he looked up after a little while he wasn’t surprised that Roman had disappeared. He felt the tears begin to prick at his eyes and before he could stop it, they spilled over with a small broken sob.

His heart broke; he felt isolated and alone. Virgil pulled his knees up, burying his face into them and crying silently. Everything hurt, but it was numb at the same time, as if the only thing he could feel besides nothing was his heart break.

 _I know I ended it, but…_ A choked sob ripped itself from his throat. _It hurts so bad._

He had broken up with Roman and while it hurt like hell in the moment, he knew it would hurt less in the long run. Roman wasn’t as perfect as he once believed, and _that_ hurt. Virgil threw his hood up and wrapped his arms around his legs, making himself as small as possible.

The two hiding men came out of their room, hearing the choked sobs, trying to be silenced along with sniffling coming from the living room. They looked at one another and nodded, coming to a decision together, approaching Virgil and engulfing him in two pairs of arms and carried to their room. The small man didn’t seem to notice.

Virgil didn’t know when, but he was being cradled in Patton’s bed by the other two older men as he cried harshly. He hurt so much, but having Patton and Logan by his side was helping immensely.

The days were spent quietly with Virgil, never leaving him alone, Logan and Virgil would avoid being around Roman. Patton was always the one to hang out with Roman and go shopping, ‘retail therapy’ he’d called it. During this time, Logan and Virgil would cuddle up on the couch and watch documentaries.

Some sent Virgil into a spiral and he would hide himself in his room, Logan following behind and trying to help him into a state of comfort. Sometimes it took minutes, others it took hours if it worked at all the same day to get him out of his room again.

Patton would hold him while Logan went to work and bought groceries, lists made by Patton. He liked to talk about light-hearted matters and was always open for whenever Virgil was ready to talk. Often Virgil would go through a simple cycle of emotions: denial, anger, crying, cursing and crying, then falling asleep with puffy eyes and tear stained cheeks.

Weeks flew by for the two older men, but for Virgil it was agonizingly slow; so much crying and pain, but he was beginning to be able to smile again, however rare that was.

The way Patton would talk about anything with him and make him chuckle caused a small and stupid grin to split across his lips before capturing his bottom lip between his teeth, trying to hide his joy.

It was no better when Logan would be reading while cuddled up with Virgil and would fall asleep, book in hand and head lolling to the side, resting on Virgil’s shoulder. _So cute._

Mornings were always interesting with the three, idle chatting, jokes and banter tossed over the table, but at some point, each morning, Virgil would retreat to his room. He would feel awkward and embarrassed. Logan and Patton both found it adorable how easy it was to fluster the other.

One day, it was _different_ though.

“You want some coffee, kiddo?” Patton had asked one morning when Virgil came down from his room. He sat at the breakfast table and yawned, shaking his head.

“Can’t, I’ll shake like a leaf. Cocoa would be fine though.” His voice was heavy with sleep, which caused Patton to smile. That smile made Virgil’s heart beat just a little faster and his cheeks to redden.

“Hot cocoa _does_ sound good!” Patton grinned, setting off to make the drinks. It didn’t take long for Logan to join them, adjusting his black watch on his wrist and combing his fingers through his hair.

“Salutations, Virgil.” Logan sat at the table, correcting his sleepily done up tie.

“Mornin’ teach.” Virgil looked Logan over and found his eyes tracking every little movement his hands made as they fiddled with the tie, his new purple and black tie. He licked his lips, wetting them, _when did they get dry? Was Logan always so..._ Virgil’s chocolate eyes shot up to look at the concentration on Logan’s face. _Beautiful?_

“Ain’t he a looker fresh out of the shower?” Patton grinned when Virgil jumped and flushed red. _My boys are so cute!_ Patton couldn’t help himself from laughing a bit as he sat the two cups of cocoa down and moved to grab Logan his morning coffee.

Virgil put on his hood and pulled the strings lightly, hiding behind his hair and hoping that Logan hadn’t heard or that he couldn’t see just how pink his normally pale face was.

No such luck, Logan was looking right at Virgil and the smirk on his lips told Virgil that _he knew_.

“You know, Virgil,” Logan began, the smirk never leaving his face. “I only have ties in colors that represent me and the ones I enjoy being around. Isn’t that interesting?”

If Virgil thought his face was on fire before, it was worse at this point.

“Here you are, love.” Patton grinned, handing Logan his morning coffee before sitting down with them and taking a sip of his cocoa, the only drink with whipped cream on top. When he pulled the cup away, Virgil’s eyes glued to the leftover cream at the corner of his mouth.

_I wanna lick it…_

He swallowed hard, pulling the strings tighter and attempting to have his jacket engulf him.

“Virgil?” Logan’s eyes pierced through him, forcing him to look at the other _who was still smirking_. “I have a question for you.”

Virgil’s body went cold in dread. Was Logan going to call him out for having feelings for them? _Did he have feelings for them?_ He quickly glanced between the two of them and forced the panic down his throat. _Yes._ And he was **_terrified_**.

“Yeah? Uh… What is it?” He tried to play it off, ignoring how his pulse felt like it would burst through his veins.

“Would you allow me to kiss you?”

The shock was overwhelming; he felt his own but also he noticed how Patton’s head twisted to look at Logan so fast that whip-lash was a possibility.

 _Patton was going to be so **angry** with him_. His breathing quickened, his growing panic evident. _But he needed to answer Logan…!_

“Well, kiddo?” Patton was looking at him, a gentle smile on his lips, trying to say _it’s okay_. _I’m not mad._

Virgil swallowed, trying to calm down, shaking his head and making himself breathe. He hated being put on the spot, especially in such a delicate situation. Were they going to laugh at him? _No._ Patton and Logan _weren’t_ like that.

Virgil looked between Logan and Patton, uncertainty on his face. “I-I… I don’t know…” He mumbled out finally. “What if… What if it’s weird? What if you don’t like it? What if—“

“Now Virgil, you know Logan doesn’t do anything if he isn’t sure. If he didn’t _want_ to kiss you, he wouldn’t have asked.” Patton grinned.

“You’re absolutely right Patton. I’ve been wondering if your lips are as soft as they look.” Virgil’s cheeks burned more. “Besides, how will we ever know if we don’t experiment?”

“If… Just promise that… if it’s something that one of us doesn’t like that… we can go back to normal?” Virgil was hopeful, but also doubtful. He wanted things to stay as they were, but the idea of something more with the two who genuinely were taking care of him set the butterflies into motion in his belly. He _wanted_ it, but he didn’t know if he _deserved_ it.

He gave Patton one last glance before making eye contact with Logan and giving a tentative nod.

Logan stood, walking around the table and Patton, his hand passing over the dad’s shoulders before being stood in front of the scared Virgil. He moved his hands to gently remove Virgil’s hood and bent down slightly.

“You know, it’s hard to tell what you’re thinking when you hide your eyes.” Logan smirked before moving some of Virgil’s bangs from his face.

His eyes were deep and scared, but Logan could see the excitement as well; the longing for more but the fear of rejection and being utterly **_alone_**. He understood how that felt, but he wanted to sooth the hoodie-clad male.

Logan leaned down and pressed their foreheads together. “Are you sure you’re alright with this, Virgil? I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

Virgil paused, eyes shifting as he thought it over. Was he okay? Was _this_ okay? He couldn’t come up with an answer but he wanted it and even though his body was screaming at him to refuse this advance, he couldn’t tell Logan no (not that he wanted to).

A left hand cupped his cheek and set him a little more at ease. _He was safe and he needed to remember that_. The hand gently moved back to hold the back of his head tenderly. It felt nice.

Virgil looked at Logan’s eyes, love and understanding evident in them, despite all of Logan’s claims of hating emotions. Virgil knew his answer.

“I… I want it, but… I’m scared Lo…” Virgil admitted, biting his bottom lip slightly.

“If it doesn’t pan out, we can forget it ever happened, Virgil. I swear to you.”

The hesitation for Virgil was palpable, but Logan was patient.

“Okay.”

Logan smiled and leaned forward, pressing their lips together and closing his eyes only after Virgil did. They moved out of sync at first, fumbling with the new feeling of unfamiliar lips. Logan’s lips were similar, but different than Roman’s. Less gloss and more rough and chapped, someone who cared less about their ‘attractiveness’ and more if he was presentable.

Before Virgil could stop himself, he wrapped his arms around Logan’s neck and pulled him closer, earning a small surprised noise from Logan. Virgil was vaguely aware of the tears now trailing down his cheeks.

He was so _happy_.

* * *

 

They grew close over the next few months and they had even included him in their relationship, a part of them. They belonged together, the three of them; snuggling, holding hands, kissing. All of that was great, but Virgil’s favorite activity was merely talking with the others; it didn’t matter what it was and it varied between who all was part of the conversation.

Virgil was snuggled up with Logan and Patton, reading on his phone when he looked up at the other two. He couldn’t keep a smile from his lips; he loved his boys, but Patton and Logan believed he wasn’t ready for sex with them yet. Not that he couldn’t handle them, but more so emotionally. _He wanted to prove he was **strong** enough._

“…I love you both so much.” It was an absent minded comment which caused the two glasses clad men to look at each other before turning to Virgil with a smile.

“Awwwww! We love you too, kiddo.” Patton reached over, booping Virgil’s nose before running his fingers through his hair tenderly.

“Yes, we quite enjoy your company as well, Virgil.” The statement was accompanied by Logan adjusting the glasses on his face.

Virgil smiled his happy little crooked smile that Lo and Pat had come to love. It meant that Virgil was actually happy and that he could put aside his anxieties about things, if only for a moment.

That was when Logan felt a hand creeping up his thigh, causing him to blink. He looked at Patton, but the oldest looked at him, appearing to be just as confused. If it wasn’t Patton then…

He moved to look at Virgil better, but as his head began to turn the hand had started to tenderly rub him through his pants, earning the other a low, quiet groan of approval. It was such a huge step for Virgil to want sexual contact, let alone initiate it. Logan was vaguely aware that Patton was receiving a similar treatment. He was glad that Virgil had convinced them just to stay in bed.

Before long, both Logan and Patton were hard and their pants seemed to be just a little too tight for their liking.

Patton moaned quietly, rutting his hips into Virgil’s hand making Logan bite his bottom lip. Watching his two loves go at it would destroy him in the best way possible, though he may need a new pair of jeans.

Logan reached down, stopping Virgil’s hand and smiling at him. “I want to watch.” Logan explained, his eyes gesturing to Patton who whined and bit his lip.

Virgil’s cheeks burned, quickly flushing when he moved to work on Patton with his full attention. He moved his nimble fingers to tug the older man’s belt, loosening it and pulling it free from the khaki pants.

Patton’s breath hitched as both hands began to tease and gently pull at the pants, the fabric straining the button and its stitches, but never releasing the button from the hole. He would be lying if he said he’d never thought about this moment, but he also always imagined _he_ would be the one watching Logan and Virgil.

Virgil moved, slipping down the bed so his knees would sit between Patton’s calves, removing his hands from Patton’s pants. _He had a better plan_. The other looked delicious and disheveled and Virgil _loved_ it.

The blue polo was pushed up to reveal a bare navel; shaved or waxed, Virgil wasn’t sure, but was pleased. His cool fingers traced the shape of Patton’s stomach, watching in fascination as the muscles beneath the skin contracted and relaxed.

Virgil couldn’t help but enjoy the way the other squirmed for him and decidedly wanted to make it last as long as possible, milk it and make Patton remember every bit of this.

The pale man moved down, capturing the fabric of Patton’s pants between his teeth, glancing up at the older man. His flushed face and fixated stare were enough to tell Virgil to continue. He pulled at a slight angle, the button pushing itself back through the hole that kept them together.

Virgil made his body heat obvious to Patton as he moved to the zipper, which was attempting to (poorly) conceal how hard Patton was, exhaling hot and heavy over the sensitive area. It pleased Virgil to know that the other man couldn’t help but release a shaky sigh of pleasure.

He dragged the zipper down, holding the metal between his teeth, his hands moving up to massage Patton’s hips lovingly, the other shivering beneath his touch. Virgil had never felt more powerful than in that moment and while he liked it, he had a job to do: make Patton feel good.

Virgil released the zipper, his fingers hooking into the other’s pants, breathing hotly over Patton and looking up, asking for permission. Despite how Virgil had anticipated the other being shy, Patton was surprisingly into this; his eyes were half-lidded, cheeks flushed and his lower lip caught between his teeth.

Now _that_ was a sight to behold. The air was sucked from Virgil’s lungs. Suddenly he was the shy one and he was the one seduced. He wanted to ravish Patton and have him return the favor.

 _Not tonight_ , Virgil thought. _Tonight is about Patton._

Virgil licked his lips when he got the nod of excitement. Patton _wanted_ this and so did Virgil. He slipped the other’s pants down, a bit surprised when he was greeted with pastel blue brief shorts with small pink paw prints on them.

He couldn’t keep a smirk off his face. “Cute.” He chuckled as Patton pouted. Virgil leaned down and gave the hidden appendage a small kiss, earning him a small, surprised inhale from Patton.

Another kiss caused Patton to whine and shift a little. Virgil should have known the other would be a needy lover and somehow it made it all the cuter.

Virgil reached up and grabbed him through the fabric, occasionally adding or releasing pressure, making Patton moan.

“You have to be good, Pat. I don’t know if I’m doing good if you’re only whining at me.” He could use Patton’s love against him slightly. Based on the chuckle he heard from Logan on the other side of the bed, he guessed that the smarter man knew what he was planning.

“V-Virge… please…” Patton begged, his hands gripping the sheets beside his hips.

“You want these off, Pat?” Virgil whispered. He received a vigorous nod. This was all he needed to see as he slipped Patton’s underwear off.  
Virgil couldn’t help but stare at Patton’s member, red and leaking just a few drops from the tip. Patton wanted this _badly_ and he was _huge_. He licked his lips, unsure if it was from excitement or the passing thought of _Can I fit all of that in my mouth?_

“Holy shit, Pat… Where have you been hiding this?” Virgil couldn’t help but ask breathily, causing Patton’s member to twitch wantonly.

Virgil swallowed, and gripped Patton at his base, earning a low moan. He gave the cock in hand a few strokes, testing the waters, cautious as ever.

The anxious man dipped his head forward, licking the tip tentatively. He wasn’t sure what he was expecting, but the salty and slightly sour taste was not really it. He summed it up to all the sweets Patton would eat whenever he thought he did a good job (which was more often than Patton would ever admit).

Virgil didn’t mind though, in fact he kind of liked it. It wasn’t like all of those erotic books written for forty-something women (that he _totally_ didn’t read) had claimed. It wasn’t sweet at all.

He slipped his lips around the head, lapping gently and lovingly slow at the slit which caused another moan and the cock to twitch again.

“Virge… Virgil please…” Patton panted out, looking down at the other. The dad looked like he was physically forcing his arms down so he didn’t just _force_ Virgil to suck him off.

Virgil’s cheeks burned more as the thought ran through his head. _Holy shit what an image._ He couldn’t help the moan that crackled out of his throat and around Patton, making the other groan and arch off the bed slightly.

Virgil couldn’t wait any longer to please the other and moved down, making sure to keep Patton’s manhood wet to prevent chaffing or sticking.

Patton moaned as he was surrounded by the wet heat of Virgil’s mouth, though it was bordering on painfully slow. He wanted more but the other seemed so hesitant in his actions. _He probably doesn’t know what he’s doing._

Logan had undone his jeans and had pushed them down to his knees along with his boxer briefs. His right hand gripped his shaft while his left moved farther down to gently massage his balls. His right hand stroked lazily, waiting until things picked up to get more into this pleasure.

“Mmmm… Virge… Logan is touching himself…” Patton bit his lip as he looked up at Logan, his left hand moving to play with Virgil’s hair. Seeing Logan like that was one of Patton’s favorite things and he was growing fonder of seeing Virgil as he was now.

Virgil glanced over, making brief eye contact with Logan before mentally smirking. He was sure Logan saw his mischievous glint because of the smirk he received. He took a breath and forced his head all the way down, deep-throating Patton in one go, earning him a loud gasp and the hand which was playing with his hair gripped it tightly.

It was then that Virgil learned that _he had no gag reflex_.

He swallowed around the cock, the skin pulling with the action causing Patton to moan, his eyes rolling back in his head. Virgil pulled back, beginning a steady, but quick rhythm of bobbing his head to please his partner.

Logan groaned quietly, not usually very vocal during sex, but he did want Virgil _and_ Patton to know how much he was affected by them. His hand was moving at a steady pace, his thumb rubbing over the head of his cock when it reached the tip and his nails gently scraping the underside as he got to the base. His other hand seemed to move from massaging his scrotum to gently pulling on it and back to massaging.

The room was now filled with the scent of sex and sweat as Patton moaned and writhed on the bed, getting lost in the feeling. All too soon he felt the pool of heat and the tensing of his muscles indicating he was close.

“Nnn… V-Virge…” Deep brown eyes looked up at Patton, bringing the older man closer with a moan. “G-Gonna…”

Logan’s hand moved quickly, wanting to finish with his partners. This was definitely better than any porn that Roman had ever handed to him. “F-Fuck… Cum for us… Pat…”

Virgil sucked on Patton as he bobbed his head quickly around him, snaking his tongue as much as he could. He wanted nothing more than for Patton to unload in his throat. He gave a low hum of approval, enjoying the sight of the disheveled Patton and the sound of Logan losing himself in the moment.

With a low groan and another grip of hair, Patton came hard, setting Logan off as Virgil swallowed him up, giving two more sucks to make sure everything was out and causing Patton to hiss from the sensitivity of his now softening cock. Virgil pulled back and looked at Logan, his lips red and swollen from their work.

“That was fun, but I’m thirsty…” Virgil mumbled, his mouth sticky. Patton’s cum was slightly sour and slightly bitter. What threw Virgil off was how thick it was.

Logan chuckled breathlessly, adjusting himself back inside his pants before getting up on wobbly legs, grabbing Virgil a bottle of water from Patton and Logan’s mini-fridge in the room and tossing it to the youngest.

Virgil wasted no time in ripping into the water, chugging half of it and then capping it back up with a sigh.

“What about you, Virgil?” Logan asked as Patton curled up after pulling his underwear back on. He looked tired.

Virgil looked down at his hard-on and shrugged. “Another time. I don’t think I have the energy to have anything.”

Logan shook his head with a smile. “We love you, Virgil. We want you to know that.”

“Mmmmhmmmm…” Patton agreed sleepily, cuddling into Virgil and Logan’s pillows, surrounded by their scent.

“I know. I love you guys too. If I can be with both of you…” He moved, covering up Patton and petting his hair. “Then I’ll be happy.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’d love it if you guys would hop over to my tumblr (https://superfluffywolf.tumblr.com/) if you want to leave a story idea for me to write out! My ask box is open and I would upload more if I have more ideas on what to write!

**Author's Note:**

> Woo boy. What a doozy. This is like 6 full pages and like... twice as long as my normal fics.
> 
> Feel free to post this in some list of Sanders Sides masterlist if you feel like it.
> 
> Please comment! That will help encourage me! I have a lot of fanfics started, but I haven't really... done much with them. Let me know what you guys thought of it and if you do (or don't) want the rest of it!
> 
> And if you draw anything for my stories, tag the heck out of me! I've never had art drawn of my stuff and I'm very excited to see anything creative you guys do!


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